A lifetime of love: Basingstoke couple shares marriage tips that stand the test of time

“Be each other’s best friend” is just one of the pieces of advice given by a couple at a care home in Basingstoke as they enjoyed their 76^th Valentine’s Day together. 

Love was in the air when the team at Care UK’s Dashwood Manor, on Bradley Way, arranged a special dinner for Ken and Mavis Howes.

Ken, 99, and Mavis, 98, dressed to the nines to enjoy some champagne, prawn cocktail starter, steak and chips, finished with sticky toffee pudding, prepared by the home’s head chef. Ken had surprised Mavis with the menu, thoughtfully recreating the meal they shared on their wedding day. 

With Valentine’s decorations filling the room, they reminisced about their early days together and revealed their secrets to a long and happy marriage.

Answering the key to finding everlasting love, Mavis said: “We have always been best friends in love. Always respect each other and help where you can.

“Having fun is very important as you can’t be serious all of the time.”

Ken added: “You have to give and take. Know what you are likely to win, as you can’t win them all!”

The couple agreed that to keep a marriage alive, it is important to be romantic wherever possible. To this day, Ken and Mavis will always kiss hello and goodbye to show their affection and support for one another.

The pair met as teenagers in 1944 at an evening bookkeeping class in Suffolk, where they both grew up.

It was love at first sight, with Mavis recalling: “Ken was always a very nice and respectful gentleman. He was caring and even walked me home on the first night.”

Ken added: “Mavis was a very good-looking girl. It was hard not to notice her. She still has the same attributes she had when I first met her.”

One week after their first class, they went to the cinema to watch a murder mystery for their first date. Ken was then called up to the front line for three and a half years, but the pair remained devoted, writing to each other every week.

Once Ken returned, they married on 12^th November 1949 at St Edmundsbury Cathedral. Though the day brought hailstones and snow, this didn’t ruin their wedding as they knew they had each other.

They travelled to Bournemouth on the train for their honeymoon, where one of their friends convinced the train driver to let off fog signals to send the newlyweds off.

The couple moved up to Scotland for Ken’s new job as a brewer. Mavis devoted her early years to raising their two children before later returning to work at a doctor’s surgery. 

One of their most cherished memories was joining the Rotary Club, where Ken became president and Mavis president of the ‘Inner Wheel’ – a club for wives of the Rotarians. During this time, they raised thousands of pounds for St Luke’s Hospice in Basildon through quizzes, luncheons, shows and pantos.

Mavis now lives with macular degeneration, and her eyesight has depleted over the past couple of years.

“Ken has become my eyes,” she said. “He has always been a great supporter and carer. We really have seen each other through sickness and health.”

Francine Veramu, Home Manager at Dashwood Manor, said: “Ken and Mavis are such a lovely couple and a real joy to have here. You can always see how much they care for each other – whether they’re sharing a laugh or sitting together in the garden, it’s clear their bond is something really special.

“Celebrating their 76th Valentine’s Day was a wonderful moment for everyone. Hearing about their life together, from meeting through the bookkeeping class as teenagers to raising a family, was so inspiring.

“It was a day full of love, laughter and happy memories – we’re so lucky to have been a part of it.”

Dashwood Manor has been designed to enable residents to lead active and fulfilled lives while also promoting independence. The care home incorporates plenty of space for hobby and leisure activities, with luxury facilities including a hair and beauty salon, cinema, bar and gardens.