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Communicating with a person with dementia: tips for conversations

by Jo Crossland

Dementia advice

In a national survey commissioned by Care UK, 93% of respondents said they felt communication barriers prevented meaningful interactions with a loved one living with dementia.

Because of the way the brain changes when a person has dementia, communication can become more difficult. You might feel the idea of striking up a conversation is quite daunting, and it may even hold you back from visiting. In our survey, over a quarter of respondents said difficulties communicating with their loved one kept them from visiting more often. 

Finding new ways to communicate and connect is often easier than you think. We’ve provided tips for starting a conversation below. But first, watch the video to see how relatives of Care UK residents communicate with their loved ones.

Tips for conversations

Tips for communication: living in the moment

You don’t need to talk about what you did yesterday to laugh together today. You just need to find out where your loved one is, in their time, to connect once again.

  • Reassure rather than reason. Instead of trying to bring your loved one back to the present, focus on reassurance and avoid challenging or reasoning with their actions or reactions.
  • Ask simple, engaging questions. Rather than asking ‘Do you remember?’, which can feel stressful, focus on topics your loved one enjoys talking about. Be led by them.
  • Try listening more than talking. Close listening can help you to get a real sense of how they are experiencing the world at this moment in time. You might find words that you didn’t understand at first will make more sense now.
  • Be flexible and avoid rigid plans. If your loved one is having a good day, take full advantage and suggest a trip out or a walk in the garden. If they aren’t, don’t take it personally. Allow them to set the pace and agenda for the day.

Explore more advice for communicating with a person with dementia

Staying connected: A guide to dementia-friendly conversations, is our new guide full of practical pointers for communication, with tips for:

  • Starting a conversation
  • Talking and listening
  • Asking questions
  • Getting out and about
  •  Making the most of a visit
  • Helping children to feel involved

Download 'Staying connected', or pop into your nearest Care UK care home to request a free copy.

The Big Dementia Conversation

We want to get the nation talking about dementia and some of the most difficult topics associated with the condition. 

Download our guide, Staying connected: A guide to dementia-friendly conversations, or explore more articles in our online advice hub to take a closer look at communicating with a loved one with dementia. You can also discover more advice and support on our dementia help & advice page. 

The Big Dementia Conversation

More from Help and Advice

Author

Jo Crossland

Jo Crossland

Head of Dementia and Lifestyle

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